From Childhood Rules to Adult Habits: The Journey of How We Eat

How Your Childhood Shapes Your Current Eating Habits

"The habits we form from childhood make no small difference, but rather they make all the difference." – Aristotle

When trying to eat healthier, it's easy to focus on the present—what we eat, when, and how much.

It makes sense. We want to change our current habits, so we look at everything through the lens of who we are today: adults.

Unfortunately, that only gives us part of the picture. Our eating habits were shaped long before adulthood, forming since infancy.

We only address part of the picture without looking back—habits formed long before adulthood.

Before we could walk or talk, we learned that food equals comfort. Cry as a baby, and food or a bottle appeared immediately.

Then, as we grew, food started to have more meaning, becoming tied to celebrations and rewards. Birthdays meant cake, family dinners were special, and good behavior earned us a treat.

All good stuff, right? Well, maybe not.

Without realizing it, we began associating food with emotions and milestones.

We didn't question it as kids—we just went with it.

As adults, many of us are facing the negative consequences of those early patterns, struggling with food-related issues that stem from habits we never even knew we were forming.

The Emotional Comfort of Food in Childhood

As kids, we all went to school and learned the basics—reading, writing, and arithmetic. But the learning didn't stop when the bell rang.

Outside the classroom, we were constantly picking up other lessons: how to interact with friends, solve problems, and manage disappointments.

Many of these lessons were subtle, taught through experience rather than instruction.

And one of the biggest lessons we learned? Often, without even realizing it, was how to handle our emotions.

Sometimes, we were taught these lessons directly—throw a tantrum, and you're sent to timeout. Hit someone, and you're sent to your room. These clear actions taught us about patience, boundaries, and how to regulate our emotions.

And you know, not to hit people.

But not everything was so straightforward. Much of our emotional education happened subtly and was often tied to food.

Maybe you scraped your knee or had a tough day at school—what did someone do to comfort you? Perhaps they handed you a snack or your favorite treat, and just like that, the pain or sadness seemed to fade away.

Bada bing, bada boom.

This connection between food and emotional relief becomes ingrained early, shaping how we cope with discomfort into adulthood. Over time, food becomes comfort, especially when stressed or bored, and these childhood patterns quietly take control.

As adults, we might continue using food to self-soothe during stressful moments, even when we're not hungry, simply because these patterns are deeply ingrained.

Our relationship with food doesn't develop in isolation. Family behaviors, beliefs, and rituals deeply influence how we approach eating.

Food and Family Dynamics

Family dynamics also shaped our emotional ties to food, using it not just for hunger but as a tool for connection, reward, or discipline.

For some, family dinners were a time to gather and bond. For others, mealtime carried pressure: 'Clean your plate,' or 'No dessert unless you finish your veggies.' These messages shaped our emotional approach to food

As kids, we absorb everything our parents do—how they eat, talk about food, and use it to express love, reward, or punishment.

Maybe your mom was always dieting, creating tension around meals, or your dad used food as a reward or withheld treats as punishment. Over time, these family rituals become deeply ingrained and stick with us long into adulthood.

If you grew up with fast eaters, you might rush your meals, too. If food was a reward for good behavior, you might crave a snack after a long day.

Depending on how food was handled in your household, these factors can foster either a healthy or unhealthy relationship with eating.

But our families are just one piece of the puzzle. Beyond the dinner table, the wider community and cultural norms also play a powerful role in shaping how we view and use food.

From celebrations to media, food becomes intertwined with our social lives and values.

Community and Cultural Influences on Food Habits

Beyond our homes, community and culture also shape our relationship with food. Social norms and traditions teach us that food is more than sustenance—it's emotional fuel.  

Food is central to celebrations, whether it's birthday cake, holiday meals, or family gatherings that bring everyone together. We've been raised in communities where sharing food symbolizes connection, comfort, and love.

And it's not just about what happens around the table. Our culture constantly reinforces these messages through media.

The big brands get what's going on. They have built their marketing around tying food to emotions, making it clear that eating is about more than just physical hunger:

1. Coca-Cola – "Open Happiness" / "Taste the Feeling": Coca-Cola links the act of drinking a soda directly to joy and emotional satisfaction. Whether it's a celebration or a simple moment of enjoyment, Coca-Cola promises that taking a sip will deliver happiness and a positive feeling.
2. McDonald's – "I'm Lovin' It": McDonald's taps into the emotional satisfaction of comfort food. Whether grabbing a quick bite or treating yourself after a long day, McDonald's advertising ties the experience of eating their food to feelings of enjoyment, relaxation, and contentment.
3. Snickers – "You're Not You When You're Hungry": Snickers explicitly plays on the idea that food can change your mood. Their message is clear—when you're feeling irritable or out of sorts, a Snickers will get you back to feeling like yourself again.
4. Campbell's Soup – "M'm! M'm! Good!": Campbell's Soup emphasizes warmth, comfort, and nostalgia. Their slogan and advertising often portray their soups as the ultimate comfort food to enjoy when you're cold, sick, or need a little emotional warmth.
5. Applebee's – "Eating Good in the Neighborhood": Applebee's focuses on connection and comfort, presenting their restaurants as a place for friends and family to gather. Their slogan suggests that dining there isn't just about food—it's about community, belonging, and feeling at home.

These slogans don't just sell food—they sell emotions, linking food to happiness, comfort, and identity. They shape how we see food as a solution for our feelings.

And they work. Sometimes, I find myself hangry and buying a Snickers at the checkout line, even if I didn't go in to buy it.

It's no wonder that as we grow older, we follow the same food rituals we saw as kids. Commercials, social gatherings, and cultural habits reinforce the idea that food is a source of comfort, pleasure, and escape.

Once we're adults, we're not just managing our personal habits or family expectations; we're immersed in a culture that constantly tells us food can solve emotional discomfort, reinforcing patterns from childhood.

With influences from childhood, family, and culture shaping our relationship with food, it's no surprise that food often becomes emotional rather than just practical. But understanding where these habits come from gives you the power to change them.

The good news? Now, you can take control and decide how food fits into your life.

Rewrite Your Food Story: Understanding and Healing Childhood Patterns

Now that you've explored how your childhood shaped your relationship with food, it's time to consider how those early patterns might still influence your habits today.

The good news is that you have the power to rewrite your food story and break free from old beliefs that no longer serve you.

The key to rewriting these rules isn't willpower or discipline—it's about self-awareness and self-compassion. To truly change, you first need to understand which early food rules you still live by and how they've affected your relationship with food.

Reflect on the Food Rules You Grew Up With

Let's start with some self-reflection. Take a moment to think about the beliefs and behaviors around food that you absorbed as a child. These rules were likely taught to you by family, culture, or even societal norms—but that doesn't mean they need to define your relationship with food today.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What food-related rules did I grow up with?
• Did you have to clean your plate? Was dessert a reward for good behavior? Were certain foods labeled as "good" or "bad"?
• How do these old rules show up in my life today?
• When do you find yourself repeating these patterns? Do you finish your plate even when you're full? Do you use food as a reward after a tough day?
• Which rules still serve me, and which are holding me back?
• Some childhood habits might still be helpful, but others could limit your ability to listen to your body's hunger and fullness cues.

Be Kind to Yourself During the Process

As you reflect on these patterns, remember that your relationship with food was shaped by your environment—it wasn't something you chose.

So, be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is a critical part of rewriting the rules. The habits you developed in childhood weren't your fault, and you're not to blame for carrying them into adulthood.

These patterns were learned behaviors, not reflections of your worth or self-control. You've done the best you could with the tools you had. It's about using this new awareness to heal your relationship with food.

Give Yourself Permission to Change

You're not bound by the rules of the past. Once you recognize which beliefs and behaviors no longer serve you, give yourself permission to let go of them. You have the power to create new, healthier food habits that align with your current values and needs.

As you move forward, approach food with curiosity rather than judgment. Food is not the enemy—it's a source of nourishment and enjoyment. You can build a more balanced, mindful, and healthy relationship with food by rewriting the rules and practicing self-compassion.

Taking Control: Rewriting Your Food Story

Ultimately, our relationship with food is shaped by a lifetime of experiences—from childhood and reinforced by our families, communities, and culture.

Once we recognize these early influences, we can reshape how food fits into our lives. By consciously choosing which emotional ties to keep and letting go of those that no longer serve us, we can build a healthier, more intentional relationship with food.

It's not about erasing the past but deciding how we move forward. After all, you're the one writing the rules now.