The Weekly Wednesday #3: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Happy Wednesday!
This week, let's dive into a topic that's as crucial for your mental well-being as it is for your health and fitness journey—comparing yourself to others. We all do it, and it's totally natural. Unfortunately, it's not doing us any damn good at the end of the day.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with comparison, but comparing ourselves to OTHERS is where the problem lies, it's making so many people feel shitty about themselves.
In "The Courage to be Disliked," Ichiro Kishimi explores Adlerian Psychology, also known as Individual Psychology, which Arthur Adler developed in the early part of the 20th century. One concept discussed in the book is the importance of not comparing ourselves to others, as it can rob us of joy.
"A healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one's comparison with one's ideal self."
Basically, feeling that you could be better than you are now is perfectly healthy as long as you approach it honestly and nonjudgmentally. It's fine to tell yourself, "I know I can do better." That's what we call healthy inferiority.
On the other hand, comparing ourselves to others is unhealthy and can do severe damage in the long run. There's one main reason for this: no matter how good you get at something, there will always be someone better than you.
Think of it this way: if you always focus on comparing yourself to others, you'll consistently feel inferior because there will invariably be someone better than you. You'll feel inadequate not only in your abilities but also in your overall self-worth. This is what we call an inferiority complex.
Once this happens, you'll lose all confidence and, well, give up.
You might be asking, "Can't comparing myself to others motivate me to achieve more?" It can. But it also traps you in this never-ending cycle.
You might see someone on social media and think, "If only I looked like that, then I'd be happy." The irony is that there's a good chance that the person you admire is thinking the same thing about someone else.
Instead, focus on improving yourself and let others inspire you. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday and ask, "What can I do better today?" This approach fosters personal growth and keeps you motivated.
Do this consistently, and you'll start to see meaningful progress. More importantly, you'll experience something those stuck in the cycle of comparison rarely or never feel: genuine joy.
Until next week,
Andrew